I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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