Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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