Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
