He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
