omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Im part way to drunk.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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