and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
