Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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