i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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