Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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