I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
