Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
