we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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