chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
