I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
