We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
