He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
