I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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