dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
