He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
