Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
