You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
