I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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