Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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