Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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