does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
