operation harelip BJ is a go
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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