Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize