I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
3pm strippers are depressing
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
