i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
