i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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