Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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