she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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