Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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