look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So many bounce houses so little time
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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