Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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