we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
