You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize