so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
