Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize