Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
