Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
