I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
