the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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