I want to walk on stilts...naked
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
