I think i peed on brittanys purse
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
