She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
