I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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