this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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