I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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