New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
