Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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