I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
