One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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