girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
