Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
