just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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