i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
