Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
